August 2013

Today I finally convinced my lovely handsome prince charming to take a photoshoot!

Hehehe lucky me!

In our traditional hmong wedding clothing; lets make these pictures as our

invitation letter to everyone in the near future!

When he was here for the week of December 10 till the 17.

Alright, that week was awesome!!!!

We had a great time together!!! It's the first time ever but seems like we have seen

eachother for years already!!! lol

Those memories will never be forgotten!!!

Well here we are back to the time of hard times again!!

He finally told me that he doesnt like talking on the phone.

okay?

Soooo How in the world are u gonna communicate with me??

I understand if u just live across town from me, we can see eachother whenever.

But Hunnie u live 8 states! away from me.

He should have thought of it before commiting into a long distance relationship.

Sigh.

He doesnt want to answer me, the calls, text messages and even on the damn phone.

I ask questions and he have a hard as time to answer and gets annoy by ut all the damn time!

Call me Super LATE!

Just makes me question us!!!

I have my girls asking me,

"How do u do it?

"Do u fully trust him?"

"Man, we can never do it like u do"

Well at first it was no problem asnwering those questions.

Now hummmm....I dont know how to answer them at all.

I'm starting to doubt him.

Well u can say i'm starting to get insecure.

His stories are starting to be bits and piece. I can hardly understand or make a positive

sense out of it.

I can cry myself to sleep everynight thinking about how we are starting to fall apart.

I'm trying to hold it together but umm to him he doesnt care.

He said he doesnt express his feelings.

Alirght i understand that but wat confuses me is when we are on base one (Getting to know),

he can express anything to me at all times.

Now how can u tell me u dont want to express ur feelings to me.

Was i dating a FAKE, this whole time?

I dont want to think that but that is wat u r putting in my mind.

I know all of right now i am putting the negative view but i cant help.

i cant really express it to anyone cuz he seems to get offend it from it.

Stupid because he doesnt even let me complain to him either.

if i want a conversation outta him, i have to either annoy him to death and start

an arguement.

Sigh.

He's starting to BS-ing me!!!

ERGGGG....

9:52pm

The Beginning of The REAL TEST!

Oh My!

It's such a maricle!!!

He is coming to see this SATURDAY DECEMBER 10 2011!!!

I can't wait! Can't sleep. eat or drink! ahahha I'm super excited!!! Although i am kinda

scared how i should tackle this big challenge! It's been such a long time since a GUY had come

over to my place...its gonna feel a bit awkward for my parents!

hehehe...

I'm so HAPPY!!! and INLOVE!!!!

SIGH.

I hope hes not taking advantage of me...

Last night we were talking about this subject and he said he'll never have the heart to do that!

Gosh got my hopes up really high! i know all guys says that but somehow i feel like

he's gonna do wat he says...

I have so much love, hope and faith in him...

I also feel like he does too.

I hate it when i fall inlove i cant control myself even though i know he is taking advantage of me.

I just hope that my Sweet Hunnie will not be like the other guys!

He'll be a man and do as wat he says he will.

He said he will marry me no matter wat.

He wants to marry me now but things are just too complicated atm.

Well i guess its a good choice not to marry now too b/c i'm not even done

with school and i dont want to waste my semester of school, MONEY!

Yeah got me falling inlove all over again as if it was the first time we talked.

He was telling me how much he adores me and how i was different from the other girls.

How i kept him late at night on the phone with me and skipping his homies for me.

AWwwwWWww he got me HEAd over Heals For HIM!

So earlier he told me that his dad and he was talking about our marriage.

Hun should have his uncles come see me if i am a good person.

If i am then he can marry me in the summer.

Got me thinking wat do they consider good? or Bad?

From wat i know for myself i have not gone or done anything bad in public or private.

I'm so closed inside the house that they probably wouldnt even know who the hell i am.

But all i know is my mommy was like she only have one daughter and if hun is not

gonna come live in MN he's not gonna be able to marry me. LMAOL

i was like oh dang! ahahha...

She is stepping up on the plate!!!! ahah she had an evil laugh then she said it.

I gotta tell him that tonight.

Gosh i just cant wait till he gets here!!!!

I'm picking him up at the Airport and then Striaght to my house!! ehehehe...

So before anything we can do he meets my parents!!!!

I really want him to be my last because i cant seem to live w/o him!

He makes me smile, mad, sad, angry, happy and many more!

LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, LOVE,LOVE,LOVE

can really play with us sometimes!!!!!

I will stay forever true to him and i hope he will too for me (even though he said he will)

I love My Sweet Love Houa Yang!

I can't describe the love i have for him!!!! and the love he have for me!!

MUAHS!!! XOXOXOXO!!

@10:59pm

Hunni and Me on Late Night

Hard Times

Hello,

It has been a long time! Over these previous months it hasnt been going so well.

We always argue and fight. There is not a day that goes by without being mad at eachother

at some point. Erg, i hate it. But as of right now we are getting back on track. He asked me to

marry him on Octber 23 2011. And still we were fighting afterwards. Sigh. There were many

times i feel like giving up but then again i can't.

I know we are just going through hard times and i'll just have to coop with it.

We always talk things out but then the same thing happen again. He said it was my fault

I had issues and I'm not patient enough. Am i really not patient enough? Was it all my fault?

He said like he didn't have anything to do with it. Then finally i guess i had enough and i can't

stand it anymore. So one night while he was gonna go to work i called him and he flipped on

me so i was so feed up with it and was like Fuck this, hang up on him.

He always call me during his break at work and for that whole night and day he didn't bother

to call me at all. And i too was like i'm not giving up on myself like i always do, so i didnt bother

to call him either. Dang, feel like break-up. It's like do i ever cross your mind? Do u ever think

wat in the world am i doing, or how i'm feeling? or can i even sleep at night?

Wat does the future hold for us? all we do is FIGHT and ARGUE!

Even if we fight or w/so ever, if he really care and love me he would still seek to comfort me

b/c i kno he know i needed him the most when it comes to these issues.

But then again he called me the next day and act as if nothing had happen.

He's all lovely dovey on me. It's like Cmon why werent u like this earlier

so we wouldnt have this awkward moment.

It's like are u putting up an act on me?? huh??

But yeah i told him i'm not gonna call him and let him call me b/c everytime i call him he fliped

on me all the time. there is not a time he answer the phone happy

to hear my voice or knowing that i am calling him.

So makes me come to an conclusion that he likes to chase me instead of us being equal.

If he calls me then there is no problem but if i call him we always ARGUE!

Yeah was it really all my fault? He got issues!

Yeah, it was pretty intense. He is secretive towards me. Everything, he blame it on me.

If he doesnt want to talk, STAY AWAY from him, sometimes i wonder wat it will be like if he was here with me.

Will it be more intense or calm? Will we be making up like we do it now or differently.

I hate it when he talks to harsh to me, gets me mad and feel anger.

It's like dude calm down, why are u so mean!!?!?! You dont have to say it so HARSH!

Well yeah I did feel like i was too on his case. I'm always asking questions but he should know by

now that i ask a lot of questions and that is just how i am.

I kno he is really busy, his parents depend on him. Everything is always against him

But i want to be there you well atleast tell me a little info,

he always tell, don't worry, i'll tell u later. Then later he doesnt even tell me.

Ergg i get irratated but yeah i guess now i learn to just not care so much.

Just let him do watever he wants to do and don't ask questions.

If i don't ask questions or w/so ever then yeah we are fine, no arguements.

But if i just as one question like can he repeat wat he said he gets all mad at me.

Well he said he wants to marry me this spring!!! and This DEcember he is Coming to SEE ME!!!!

OMG!!! I'm the happiest woman on earth when he comes!!! lmaol

ahaha yeah, we are okay for now. Just got off the phone with that bigbutt!

There he goes again pissed off at me about this little thing earlier. But we are ok ehehe

He's at work now.

Gosh i would hate to leave my parents. :(

Why cant he just move up here with his family. Then everything is going to be great.

His family is here and my family is there :)

But that will only be in my dreams, seems like they already is not gonna come up here.

Man those three months of arguement and disagreement and fights had made

me loose my mind!

you kno i'm a really patient person and not jealous at all.

But dang he got off the edge! like seriously.

Every little things he do bothers me and makes me mad. I do agree with him i do feel like i don;t

have any patience with him.

But from beginning i do patience but as things goes on i can't be patient anymore

he has really push the button for me to get mad all the time,

Anyways I'm tired its late. lmaol I'll update sooner or later.

@12:18am

IloveHouaYueYangForever

Trust Vs. Jealously

Atm, I'm waiting for his call. Lately we haven't been talking. Maybe we are over our exciting moments or something. Well i still have it but i feel like he lost it. Just last weekend he just meet up w/ his ex. And he tells me how much he realize he love me. But afterwards he doesnt call me like he said he would. So the days after that realization, he hasnt call me at the usual time b/c he was tired. Alrite i dont really understand am i losing trust is that why i notice all these missed phone calls and its starting to effects me. Usually he wouldnt go to sleep w/o saying goodnight. Even though its not through phone he'll text me. But he just leave me waiting for him for a good two niight striaght and he know i'm always waiting for him. I'm a person who doesnt like to show that i'm jealous even though i am still let him do w/e he wants to do. But i get very uneasy when he doesnt call me and his excuse is he's tired. I know we are tired but if u are tired why dont u just call me earlier and u can go to sleep its not like i'm not gonna do anything. SIGH. My trust is slowly fading away...and yet i still have hope that he still loves me and miss me as much as i miss him. i think i love him too much that i did stuff that i'm not suppose to do today. :) I'm too bad! i let my naive heart take over my logic mind! lmaol. Well i'm still waiting on him. Well see if he calls me tonight...........@10:55pm

Him and ME

May 6 2011 @ 9:44AM

Aw...I had a great night with him! :D He's so Sweet and Cute!

Sigh. I can't wait to see him!!

IS this LOVE or wat?

Is it LOve Or What?

March 28 2011@ 10:25am

Alright here I am stuck with these feelings for someone who I never ever had seen more like meet. First I thought it was just false feelings earlier in Nov. to Dec. and then I took sometimes off to see if it was a false alarm. But then again here I am wondering trying to figure out wat is my next move. He gives me some much happiness and hopes. Even though we are miles and miles away from each other. Seems like I we are soulmate but that just my thoughts only. Even though he did confess to me on New Years, I'm still doubting myself if he still feels the same way.....I'm stuck between my heart and my mind. My heart said, Say it before it's too late, You always makes these little mistakes and then in the end your left with nothing and waste of time. :D But my mind said, You already know dude, LONG DISTANCE doesn't work out! Learn from others! Gosh! Snap out of it! And yeah...Well maybe i'll have to Lean towards my HEART! like I always do...ahahaHAHA...Butta YUP YUP!!!! This is CRAZY! it's been 2 years Sweety! and Your going back to your freshman Year Going Crushing On this Random Guy! LMAOL but then if i'm just crushing, why do i feel so strong about it...like i know for sure i can really make this relationship work out....But i always doubting myself....Alrite i'll update more...

MIX FEELINGS!

April 4 2011 @ 10: 13

Hello! You wouldn't believe what happen last weekend! He confess he LOVE ME! OMG! I was like What is going on? is this REAL? Butta, i Went along w/ the "FLOW". At First i Didn't feel the Love or connection, maybe i was too shocked or AFRIAD, and yeah he was so in love w/ me. Then after he confess and everything we hung up the phone, Some how my feelings wasn't w/ me at all after that.

I feel bad b/c i know he wanted Me to sa

y it back to him. But w

ith him, i can't play around or i don't

want to. i want the feelings to come in naturally. So then i just told him to think carefully before he say the word "LOVE" b/c it's a STRONG word. If he don't mean it then don't say it. Which he said he do. okies?

Then eventually my feelings the whole next day my feelings was not w/ me. i Feel like i want to get away from him, and wish i never knew him or tell him anythings. And then some how later on the day when it comes to the time where he suppose to call me every night or the day or time. He didn't. Then somehow my feelings are back again..........WEIRD! I wake up in the middle of the night and thinking what could he have been doing

and not calling me?!?!?!?! So then I text him iMY. But then he never answer me BAck. Then the nExt day, i called him so many times and he didn't Pick up the Phone...i feel like i was wrong maybe, i shouldn't have thought like that......Then later on the day he texxt and call me! YaY FinalLy, and We talk For hourS! All my Feelings are Back! WOW! Craziness That was BRought into me...His dream, so similar to reality.....His Dream For that night: i went and visit him in cali but just only for a day. T hen i went back home w/ my mom is a CAr. I just left w/o Saying ANYTHING and goodbye or wat so ever. Then he was trying to Chase after the car....and he came back home i was there...and i say that i was KIDDING w/ him. I'll go home in couple of hours or so....THE END! OKK?!?!?! that was exactly how i felt! if you compare this two situation. Reality vs. Dream, My feelings for him went away and it came back...then in I was suppose to leave back to MN but i stay behind w/ him. WOW! Thats CRAZY! butta YUP! That Was A weekend! But YUP iMiss Him <3

Last Day of MY intern Working at Carmichael Lynch

HAhaha!
I haven't been blogging for the longest
TIME EVER!
and EVENTUALLY i had this summer
intern job at Carmichael Lynch -very luck of me! -
and i was organizing the blogs that they FOLLOW,
and reminded me that i have a blog too. ^^ heheheee...
Reading those blogs can be very ADDICTING! hehehe
and writeing ONE can be too. Well today is my
LAST DAY! i know i know.
i need to find another job! and yeah i'll miss
coming to work everyday! :(
Getting drop off, waiting for the elevator,
standing in the elevator,-pushing the buttons-
and yeah sitting in my own cubic, reading blogs
about so many different things that you can never really think off.
and now here i am blogging about me leaving this place about
another hour or so! sigh. What a summer i had. :D
And now it went by so FAST! that i can't even stare it for one second!
But to be honest i had a great time over here at Carmichael Lynch!
It's great experience to explore my curiosity! Like EVERYONE
say i'm too "NOSY" but i seriously don't find myself like
that at all. hehehe...
It was cool, i have a supervisor with the same name and she also likes
the same color as i do. :) which is "RED" what a coincidence!?!?!
Well as of right now i know i have really bad grammer and spelling!!!
i hate it when i don't think about school or try to feel like i want to be in school!
all my knowledge is GONE! i seriously don't know what happen to it.
So at the same time i was hoping working at Carmichael Lynch will
still keep me stay on top of things w/ my smart side...but it didn't help as much..?>?>?>
ahhahha...
i feel pretty upset about leaving this place because i'm use to it and
getting in the mood of knowing people and getting fimilar to them. :)
Well it's time to give it up TRACY! ahahaha...

LOVELY!

WINTER OF 2009!

This picture was only meant to

test my camera and eyelashes.

but accidently it turns out to

look very beautiful and fit the theme of winter. I added a little photoshop to make it better but the picture already look good w/o the photoshop.

This picture was right before the snow starts to fall. As you can i see i'm in tank top. It was still in the autumn season.-which is one of my favorite- at the same time i was learning the basic of photoshop. So I deicded to test my knowledge and see what i can do. doesn't turn out that good but atleast i put effort in it. :)

MEMORIES!

LOVELY ME!!