Trust Vs. Jealously

Atm, I'm waiting for his call. Lately we haven't been talking. Maybe we are over our exciting moments or something. Well i still have it but i feel like he lost it. Just last weekend he just meet up w/ his ex. And he tells me how much he realize he love me. But afterwards he doesnt call me like he said he would. So the days after that realization, he hasnt call me at the usual time b/c he was tired. Alrite i dont really understand am i losing trust is that why i notice all these missed phone calls and its starting to effects me. Usually he wouldnt go to sleep w/o saying goodnight. Even though its not through phone he'll text me. But he just leave me waiting for him for a good two niight striaght and he know i'm always waiting for him. I'm a person who doesnt like to show that i'm jealous even though i am still let him do w/e he wants to do. But i get very uneasy when he doesnt call me and his excuse is he's tired. I know we are tired but if u are tired why dont u just call me earlier and u can go to sleep its not like i'm not gonna do anything. SIGH. My trust is slowly fading away...and yet i still have hope that he still loves me and miss me as much as i miss him. i think i love him too much that i did stuff that i'm not suppose to do today. :) I'm too bad! i let my naive heart take over my logic mind! lmaol. Well i'm still waiting on him. Well see if he calls me tonight...........@10:55pm

Him and ME

May 6 2011 @ 9:44AM

Aw...I had a great night with him! :D He's so Sweet and Cute!

Sigh. I can't wait to see him!!

IS this LOVE or wat?

Is it LOve Or What?

March 28 2011@ 10:25am

Alright here I am stuck with these feelings for someone who I never ever had seen more like meet. First I thought it was just false feelings earlier in Nov. to Dec. and then I took sometimes off to see if it was a false alarm. But then again here I am wondering trying to figure out wat is my next move. He gives me some much happiness and hopes. Even though we are miles and miles away from each other. Seems like I we are soulmate but that just my thoughts only. Even though he did confess to me on New Years, I'm still doubting myself if he still feels the same way.....I'm stuck between my heart and my mind. My heart said, Say it before it's too late, You always makes these little mistakes and then in the end your left with nothing and waste of time. :D But my mind said, You already know dude, LONG DISTANCE doesn't work out! Learn from others! Gosh! Snap out of it! And yeah...Well maybe i'll have to Lean towards my HEART! like I always do...ahahaHAHA...Butta YUP YUP!!!! This is CRAZY! it's been 2 years Sweety! and Your going back to your freshman Year Going Crushing On this Random Guy! LMAOL but then if i'm just crushing, why do i feel so strong about it...like i know for sure i can really make this relationship work out....But i always doubting myself....Alrite i'll update more...

MIX FEELINGS!

April 4 2011 @ 10: 13

Hello! You wouldn't believe what happen last weekend! He confess he LOVE ME! OMG! I was like What is going on? is this REAL? Butta, i Went along w/ the "FLOW". At First i Didn't feel the Love or connection, maybe i was too shocked or AFRIAD, and yeah he was so in love w/ me. Then after he confess and everything we hung up the phone, Some how my feelings wasn't w/ me at all after that.

I feel bad b/c i know he wanted Me to sa

y it back to him. But w

ith him, i can't play around or i don't

want to. i want the feelings to come in naturally. So then i just told him to think carefully before he say the word "LOVE" b/c it's a STRONG word. If he don't mean it then don't say it. Which he said he do. okies?

Then eventually my feelings the whole next day my feelings was not w/ me. i Feel like i want to get away from him, and wish i never knew him or tell him anythings. And then some how later on the day when it comes to the time where he suppose to call me every night or the day or time. He didn't. Then somehow my feelings are back again..........WEIRD! I wake up in the middle of the night and thinking what could he have been doing

and not calling me?!?!?!?! So then I text him iMY. But then he never answer me BAck. Then the nExt day, i called him so many times and he didn't Pick up the Phone...i feel like i was wrong maybe, i shouldn't have thought like that......Then later on the day he texxt and call me! YaY FinalLy, and We talk For hourS! All my Feelings are Back! WOW! Craziness That was BRought into me...His dream, so similar to reality.....His Dream For that night: i went and visit him in cali but just only for a day. T hen i went back home w/ my mom is a CAr. I just left w/o Saying ANYTHING and goodbye or wat so ever. Then he was trying to Chase after the car....and he came back home i was there...and i say that i was KIDDING w/ him. I'll go home in couple of hours or so....THE END! OKK?!?!?! that was exactly how i felt! if you compare this two situation. Reality vs. Dream, My feelings for him went away and it came back...then in I was suppose to leave back to MN but i stay behind w/ him. WOW! Thats CRAZY! butta YUP! That Was A weekend! But YUP iMiss Him <3

Last Day of MY intern Working at Carmichael Lynch

HAhaha!
I haven't been blogging for the longest
TIME EVER!
and EVENTUALLY i had this summer
intern job at Carmichael Lynch -very luck of me! -
and i was organizing the blogs that they FOLLOW,
and reminded me that i have a blog too. ^^ heheheee...
Reading those blogs can be very ADDICTING! hehehe
and writeing ONE can be too. Well today is my
LAST DAY! i know i know.
i need to find another job! and yeah i'll miss
coming to work everyday! :(
Getting drop off, waiting for the elevator,
standing in the elevator,-pushing the buttons-
and yeah sitting in my own cubic, reading blogs
about so many different things that you can never really think off.
and now here i am blogging about me leaving this place about
another hour or so! sigh. What a summer i had. :D
And now it went by so FAST! that i can't even stare it for one second!
But to be honest i had a great time over here at Carmichael Lynch!
It's great experience to explore my curiosity! Like EVERYONE
say i'm too "NOSY" but i seriously don't find myself like
that at all. hehehe...
It was cool, i have a supervisor with the same name and she also likes
the same color as i do. :) which is "RED" what a coincidence!?!?!
Well as of right now i know i have really bad grammer and spelling!!!
i hate it when i don't think about school or try to feel like i want to be in school!
all my knowledge is GONE! i seriously don't know what happen to it.
So at the same time i was hoping working at Carmichael Lynch will
still keep me stay on top of things w/ my smart side...but it didn't help as much..?>?>?>
ahhahha...
i feel pretty upset about leaving this place because i'm use to it and
getting in the mood of knowing people and getting fimilar to them. :)
Well it's time to give it up TRACY! ahahaha...

LOVELY!

WINTER OF 2009!

This picture was only meant to

test my camera and eyelashes.

but accidently it turns out to

look very beautiful and fit the theme of winter. I added a little photoshop to make it better but the picture already look good w/o the photoshop.

This picture was right before the snow starts to fall. As you can i see i'm in tank top. It was still in the autumn season.-which is one of my favorite- at the same time i was learning the basic of photoshop. So I deicded to test my knowledge and see what i can do. doesn't turn out that good but atleast i put effort in it. :)

MEMORIES!

LOVELY ME!!